Cinderella Or Is It Cinderfella

I am sure you have heard the story of Cinderella. I am also sure you know Cinderella wore glass slippers, but I’m sure you do not know that Cinderella was a fake! Cinderfella is the real character. Let me tell you about Cinderfella.

Once, there was a boy named Farley. He wore rags, had scabs, hadn’t washed in years, and was covered with ashes because his father made him clean the fireplace daily. His brothers never seemed to do much of anything, so everyone called him Cinderfella. His only friends were the rats who scurried around him at night. Cinderfella dreamed of marrying a princess who had a palace that was surrounded by oak trees and wild deer.

One day, a mail carrier came carrying a letter. It said, “To All Gentlemen ~ Princess Lee intends to marry. A dance will be held at Bellport’s Champagne House. The best gentleman shall marry Princess Lee.”

“Wow, this is my big chance,” thought Cinderfella.
“Cinder, what is all that racket?” asked his father.
“We got invited to a dance, Father,” said Cinderfella.
“Give me that,” the father responded in an unpleasant voice. Cinderfella gave the letter to his father. “Can I go, Father?” asked Cinderfella.

Only if you mop the floors,
Only if you wash the doors,
Only if you bathe the rats,
And along with that,
Shave the cats.

“Shave the cats!” said Cinderfella, puzzled.
“Well, maybe you can skip that,” the father said.
His brothers heard about the dance and thought it would be fun. The father didn’t have a problem with that. While everyone else in the house was getting prepared for the dance, Cinderfella was cleaning the floors and then the doors, bathing the rats, but not shaving the cats. Instead, he was making himself a tuxedo (bow and all).

It was now time for the dance, and everyone left for the Champagne House except Cinderfella. He was busily getting dressed. But oops! All of the seams opened, and the tuxedo fell apart! Well, there weren’t any fairy godmothers or godfathers left for this Cinderfella story, so a fairy goat came flying out of the sky.
“A fairy godmother or godfather is supposed to fly out of the sky, not a goat!” he yelled.
“I’m the best you can get, unless you want a fairy bug,” the goat responded.
“Let’s just get on with the story,” said Cinderfella.

Bibbidy, bobbidy, goat! All of a sudden, little golden sheep were floating around in circles above his head. When they disappeared, Cinderfella was dressed in the finest tuxedo he had ever seen. “You must be home by 11 PM; that is when you’ll turn back into yourself,” said the fairy goat.
“What! Cinderella got one more hour than me!” said Cinderfella.
“Sorry,” said the goat as he flew away.

Cinderfella, without a carriage, ran to the Champagne House. He looked at the time when he arrived. It was 9 PM. Nobody recognized him because he looked so clean and handsome. Anyway, there was a big line to dance with Princess Lee. “I’ll never get a chance to dance with the princess by 11 PM,” mumbled Cinderfella. “What can I do?” he asked himself. Then he got an idea. He turned off the lights and cut ahead of the person who was next in line to dance with the princess.

Someone turned the lights on. It was finally his turn. He danced until his heart really ached for her. The princess was about to make a decision on her husband when… Cinderfella turned back into his regular self as the clock struck 11!

He was embarrassed and ran for home as his bow fell to the ground. Princess Lee wanted to follow him, but he was too fast. She had decided she wanted him as a husband. The next day, Princess Lee went to every house in town to find the guy who matched with the tie. When she knocked on the door, the brothers of Cinderfella answered. They tried on the bow tie, but it just didn’t match them. The princess saw Cinderfella in the next room. He was still covered with ashes from his morning cleaning. She asked him if he would try on the bow tie. He did. It matched, and they got married. She called him Farley. They lived happily ever after.